year one.

I forgot that this was still in my drafts folder....so here are some year 1 reflections, just a couple weeks late!
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Give or take a few days, it has been one year since I began graduate school - wow.

Though I've shared most of what has occurred over the past year, I've learned some valuable lessons, many, unfortunately, the hard way. Between TAing, research, classes, homework, and commuting more than a few blocks, I'm so happy just to make it to this day. The transition between undergrad and graduate school was tougher than I envisioned, but I'm not sure exactly why.

Maybe it was the expectations of those who I respect and needed to work well with?  I just realized recently that I always get nervous before meetings with my professor because I always feel like I'm headed into an oral test. and I never feel like I do well when I leave. (Though, about two weeks ago, I finally finished the first meeting with my advisor without feeling like I failed my test!)

Maybe it was trying to get a new project off the ground with the weight of it being my entire thesis hanging over my head. New projects at NASA always had an end date - I couldn't work on it past my 10 wk internship and typically nobody continued my projects into the fall, so if it didn't work, oh well! Now, if something doesn't work, it means I may not graduate in the time I have remaining on my funding.

Maybe it was because my head knew that public school undergrads were different from my private school undergrads, but my heart didn't get the message - it was difficult to see the students not care and remain disengaged with the material of the courses I TAed for the whole quarter. This one aspect that turns me off of teaching for a career - how do you work with students who just don't want to be there? (yes, I know it happens at schools like SPU, but it wasn't as obvious to me. They at least knew they were paying lots of money, so some effort was required.) I respect great teachers all the more, as I know they work hard to keep their courses interesting and engaging for all levels of students.

Maybe it was the giant qualifying exam I faced right before the new school year started - memorizing has never been my strong suit and I literally memorized a textbook. This one, in fact:

(I think I actually realized at that moment that my sound was on in the super quiet reading room in the library - whoops! It still expresses the overwhelming task memorizing 700+ pages of information!) It was not small task - the test itself lasted ~4.5 hours :/ (However, I just found out that I squeezed by and passed the exam! Yay for not having to re-take it!) Since I've checked off all my core coursework, the next step is will be to give an presentation (followed by an oral examination via questions) and then I will actually be an official PhD candidate. Fingers crossed that goes well, it will hopefully happen in the next few months!

So, yeah, overall - it was a rough transition. But at the same time, I do really like my project, I like what I'm learning, MSE is definitely where I'm supposed to be, and I'm super super excited that I'm now fully funded through one of NASA's graduate research programs! (the NASA Space Technology Research Fellowship, to be precise). I love the flexibility of graduate school and I'm finally starting to get trained on a bunch of instruments, so my research is becoming increasingly more interesting. I'm trying to capitalize on my current enthusiasm and work a bit longer hours to get more things completed :) Only taking one class is also totally awesome. I'm not looking forward to home-work laden classes again, though I know there are a few more to come.

I'm still not sure where I want to work for a career, though I feel like I'm asked that quite consistently - industry, academia, and a government lab are all still options :) Finally, this year has started off much, much better and I can only express my sincerest thanks to all of my friends and family members, close-by and far off for putting up with me and helping to keep me sane last year!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

(Confession)

This week's Confession of Sin during services at Grace Seattle was quite apropos:

Almighty God, we want life. We want full life. We want life that satisfies
     our deepest longings:
     our longing to belong,
     our longing to be safe,
     our longing for comfort,
     our longing for purpose,
     our longing for relationship,
     our longing for life. 

Giver of life, you are the only source of life that satisfies these longings. 
     but we reject you. We are often ashamed of you. 
     We are more comfortable fighting for ourselves than trusting you.

We repent. We now turn to you
     and away from our lifeless, uncaring, and unsatisfying gods.
Forgive us and renew us. Amen.

I pray I will continually remember and reflect on this prayer.

Super Guppy!

I can't believe it's been a month since I spent basically my entire weekend at the Museum of Flight watching the Guppy fly in and then getting to see the front section of the Full Fuselage Trainer (FFT - a fancy term for a wingless space shuttle that is used for training the astronauts).

The Guppy is one of my favorite planes; it just doesn't look like it is supposed to be able to fly!

Apparently, this plane is a composite in the sense that the wings come from the B-class bombers, the fusualage is from another plane, and the cockpit is from yet a third plane, and the cargo area was built up on top. In a lecture on day 2, one of the astronauts, Greg Johnson, who flies the Guppy talked a bit about its history - apparently the first version, the 'Pregnat Guppy', completely disconnected midway down the cargo area to load items. Now, the Super Guppy opens on a hinge on the left side of the plane:

The guppy was flown in by Johnson and then a female astronaut showed up - I never did catch her name, but I guess she was important? Johnson is actually from West Seattle and a UW grad, so it was fun for him to fly the Guppy here. One favorite moment happened when some person just showed up in an EVA suit mock-up. I've worn one before and, while kids love them, the one I wore was not comfortable at all!!

While the Guppy crew maneuved the plane into posistion in the museum's parking lot, all the VIPs and speakers mingled before the small welcoming ceremony, including the governor and Bonnie Dunbar, another local astronaut.

And in true Seattle form, it started to rain, though fortunately it started after the plane had landed! A rain delay would not have fun to stand through!

On day two of my weekend at the MoF, not only did I get to hear Astronauts Johnson and Foreman (I think Foreman spoke at a MUST conference once) talk about their experiences on the ISS and the history of the Guppy, but I got to the front end of the FFT up close!

It was actually to large for the lens I had with me that day, but I realized that I saw the FFT fully assembled in Houston when I flew on the microgravity plane a couple years ago:

Fun fact: on the other side of the FFT in the picture above, astronauts trained to detect thermal tile damage, right underneath the open cargo bay door!

I have oodles more pictures, but since I think everyone who reads this blog is also my friend of fb, you can see the rest of the pictures there! (Click here!)

today.

 

 

Astronauts and Aerial Artists

Tonight I experienced one of the most incredible mixes of science and art. At an event hosted by the Seattle Science Center, part of their Science Luminaries Series, I experienced one of the most incredible evenings of art and science.

The evening was hosted by the Museum of Flight, in their new Space space - where the shuttle trainer will be arriving next weekend in the Supper Guppy!!! - which is an incredible building. I loved the giant images of the Milky Way and other beautiful parts of space spread across the walls in giant mural form.

First to speak was Pinky Nelson, who was an astronaut, is an astronomer, and works at WWU. He began with a compelling story about his flights on the shuttle and how he was one of 6 (I think that was the number) astronauts to fly solo in an untethered chair outside the ISS. First off - flying untethered would terrify me. Secondly, his mission was to catch a satellite IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE. And guess what? An engineer made a mistake and gave a measurement for a vital pin as 1" longer than the actual. Thus he could not grab the satellite with the grapple he had and eventually tried gripping with with his hand via the solar panel - scary idea, as the edges could have cut through his gloves and he'd be dead faster than fast :/ I found some of the footage he showed us - I got chills watching it - click here to start at the appropriate spot. Also, he loves the Hubble. Which makes him close to my favorite astronaut, however I met one that worked on the last Hubble servicing mission, and so Pinky can't rate quite as high :)

I still want to get one of the Hubble Huggers patches...

They integrated the art really well into the program, as next came a couple from the Seattle Opera, performing a piece from Rachel Portman's The Little Prince, based off the book by the same title (which, incidentally, I own in French and English. Children's books are great for learning new languages!) Though there were no costumes and the scene was just verbally set for us and then the excerpts were sung, it was still powerful. My favorite line came when the pilot was describing his emotions when flying: I hold the stars in the palm of my hand. It was just captivating. Here is a clip with more than what we heard, the part that was performed is just the very beginning of the clip, before the pilot is asked to draw a sheep:

Then Dr. Bonnie Dunbar shared her story, which is eerily similar to mine: hailing from a small ranch in south east Washington (in the same area code as my grandparents!), she actually did her undergrad and PhD in my department at the UW - Materials Science and Engineering. I knew this about her, as we have lots of pictures from her and of her and of the space shuttle, all signed by her, hanging in our conference room. We even have a teeny tiny WA state flag flown with her on one of her missions. Granted, though our backgrounds are similar, our futures are likely vastly different. I'm not entirely sure I'd want to be an astronaut. I did run up and shake her hand during the intermission, as well as get a slightly awkward photo with her, but it's so hard to know what to say when you meet someone in an event like this. I really wanted to ask her about her experiences as a woman in the sciences, if she has any family of her own, etc, but I wanted to respect her time and the others waiting to shake her hand. It was really important to me that the little girl behind me meet her and hopefully be a bit more inspired to pursue a STEM career. I may still email her at her Boeing address and maybe I'll get a response, but in the meantime, please enjoy the awkward levels of this picture:

You can't really tell from this pic, but I'm definitely rocking both my NASA meatball and Zero-G pins on the lapel. I'm probably breaking some rule about wearing too many pins, but I love them both so much! 

Post-intermission, the event transitioned into private space access, appropriate, seeing as WA has a number of companies working towards creating vehicles to ferry passengers to low earth orbit and beyond. Chris Lewicki, of Planetary Resources, gave a brief introduction to asteroids and why his company wants to try to access one - I mainly understood that there are SO MANY asteroids!!!

The next section was incredible - there's apparently an aerial arts school in West Seattle (where a person moves around high above the ground utilizing two strips of silk fabric), and they had a few performers come out and perform two pieces, Weightlessness and Space. The first piece featured a woman dressed in a bodysuit, painted in a way that reminded me a 'warrior princesses'. While her piece and ability was amazing to watch, it seemed kind of flashy, as she would grin at the audience and kind of 'show off' in a way. The second artist, however, was leagues more enaging. Not only was she dressed in a highly stylized, faux-astronaut suit, she wore a white helmet to complete the look, and her movements really evoked the idea of space. While her piece had just as many amazing moves as the first one, she really slowed down her movements, remaining still in a position for a number of seconds and included shapes that reminded me of someone gazing with wonder at the universe or crammed in a small exploration capsule. She also didn't show off as much, but was very much into creating this idea that she was in space, looking across the vast black spaces and exploring the area around her. It was a phenomenal combination of strength, grace, and trust in a piece of silk. (Materials note: I think that silk is considered the strongest natural fiber, as it is the only natural fiber that is in filament form, which means the long strands can be aligned to increase the material's strength.)

Beautiful. 

I also couldn't help but be a bit envious of their upper body strength. I'm working on strengthening my arm and back muscles through rock climbing, but I still can't do a single pull-up :/

The evening ended with Mark Sirangleo, of Sierra Nevada Space Systems, talking about some of the cool NASA missions his company has contracted for, including the Mars Science Laboratory, and about the new crew vehicle they are developing based on some old Russian/NASA designs - it looks pretty sweet! He was showing an animation about the MSL's landing and frankly, I'm terrified. It just doesn't look like it's supposed to work and apparently they haven't tested all the parts together because it was too big!!! While trying to find the video he showed, I stumbled upon this terrifying video: 

I know I'll watch the landing live if I'm awake, but gah! I hope it works!!

And that was it! 2 hours of some of most inspiring space, science, and art I've seen a long while. I wish whoever is reading this could have experienced this event. I was simply blown away with the evening and I really hope the Science Center continues to increase access to the sciences for adults, not just kids. I would love, love, love to see something like the Cal Acadamy's Nightlife at the science center, even if only once a month!

Hej!

Hej! Tack! Hej dä!
Hello! Thanks! Goodbye!


This past Monday, I began taking Swedish language classes. The above is about all I learned - and I even had to look up goodbye in my text... Why take Swedish? Because I'm hopefully traveling there next summer (or maybe the summer after that) to work with a collaborator! There is a professor at KTH, the technical university in Stockholm, who is developing a system that I want to use and/or replicate. Well, and going to Sweden is cool and my advisor believes that each student should spend some time abroad, learning to work with scientists on a global level :)

KTH in the summer sunshine

Anyways, I'm sure that the students and professors at KTH will speak English with me, however I firmly believe that I'll get more out of my experience in a foreign country if I can understand some of the language. I didn't really want to take a course at my university, partially because it meets every day at 9:30am for an hour, but also because I don't need to take it at the university level to achieve my goals. Fortunately for me, Seattle has a large scandinavian population and we have a great Swedish Cultural Center! I found out that they offer inexpensive, low-key classes that meet one evening a week. Perfect for me and I'll be able to continue to take courses throughout the school year, hopefully gaining some basic conversational skills. So far the pronunciation hasn't been too tricky, but I've never tried a germanic language before (I've tried learning Spanish and French previously) so I know things will come up that I'll find difficult. The most interesting thing I learned in day one was that there are no verb endings! All verbs stay the same, regardless of case, and are differentiated by the pronouns that precede them. Which is only a bummer because when learning other languages, verb conjugations are my strongest point in the whole course, thanks to my Latin background - where all we basically did for 1.5 years was conjugate verbs! 

Isn't Stockholm colorful?! 

I'm also excited that Stockholm is a port city with many ferries to outlying islands. That's one thing I love about living in Seattle - the easy access to water and islands in the sound, San Juans, and Canada. I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed that it all works out for me to travel to Sweden for the whole summer, goodness knows I will also check out as much of the rest of Europe as I can!

leading females.

books. Oh, how I love them. Though I've read few 'for fun' books in the past 5 years than ever before, I still love to read - I'm currently working through The Most Human Human, testing out my new Kindle :) Recently, when I was back at my parents home, I was searching through the bookcases and experienced a small 'aha!' moment - while I know my independent and feminist tendencies today are partially a product of being a first born and my awesome roommate, I realized that the majority of books I picked up during some pretty formative years all featured strong female protagonists, doing all sorts of fun things.

All my boxcar children books. Not pictured: all the ones I borrowed from the library! Love the independence and fun times had by all the Alden siblings.

With the number of historical fiction / biographies I read, it's surprising I didn't love history more. I certainly didn't read any books about chemists :/

 I had two big loves growing up: horses and ballet. Granted, there are not many books about young ballerinas, so my shelf has many many more books about horses, usually featuring a girl. And while some people may think ballet is super girly and wondering why it's listed here, I remember Drina as being a very strong and independent young woman who worked hard at her craft.

I didn't seem to enjoy many books with leading male characters, probably because I didn't identify with them as much as a female lead - just going to show me, once again, how powerful the young adult literature genre can be.

Oh, and American Girl dolls / stories - love, love, love them. So accessible for young girls and subtly taught so many good life skills. Plus, my first foray into designing clothing was for my doll, Molly. Oh, and my cat, but she wasn't as great about posing as Molly.....

Other favorites included pretty much any book by Tamara Pierce and many of Anne McCaffrey's books about the dragons of Pern:

to read: Sophie's World, Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Space Trilogy, The Evolution of Adam, and sooo many others!

to finish: The Most Human Human, The Design of Everyday Things (had to go back to the library :/), The Problem of Pain, Hood, Apollo's Angels, and sooo many others!

Clearly, I'm not just reading books with female protagonists now :) but I am glad I'm finally finding some non-fiction to enjoy. Generally I find non-fic kind of boring, but that's because I grew up on fantasy fiction....

Also, does anyone have good sources to borrow ebooks? I have four different library cards but can always used more resources :)