not biking

has been harder than I expected. I keep wanting to ride my bike, but then I remember there is ice on the roads in my hometown. And that my bike is still in Seattle. I refuse to ride a stationary bike and I'm so tempted right now to get a trainer for my lovely road bike, but I think my roommates wouldn't be too happy with a bike in our living room :)

Anyways, here are some funny bike (and pedestrian) related haikus I stumbled upon while procrastinating on finishing my DOE fellowship application:

also. watch this video. it's strangely fascinating. and scary.

3-Way Street from ronconcocacola on Vimeo.

I would also like to point out that in NYC, people stand in the street while waiting to cross. You could clearly pick me out as a non-new yorker when I was in the city a few week ago because I stood on the sidewalk. In seattle, our streets are too narrow to stand in the road! alas, I found myself the day after I returned to seattle waiting in the street more than once.....

{vulnerabilty}

tonight, I stumbled upon a TED talk entitled The power of vulnerability by Brene Brown from the University of Houston. this women is right up my alley - a researcher who likes to measure and quantify everything. This might not all sound coherent, but the talk resonated with me and I wanted to share it.

What really struck me was how she defined part of vulnerability as doing 'something where there is no guarantee.' This isn't a huge revelation, I just have never considered it in those terms. I can do that with with my research because I have always understood that there are no 'right' answers in chemistry; there is no guarantee of a successful reaction. After writing that, I'm not entirely sure why I still love my work and why I continually show up to lab each day, but it may be partly because the chemicals can't talk back. I can't hurt them or be hurt by them. 


People, however, have always been a different story. I have come to realize that I consciously will keep part of myself from people, in a way, shielding myself. Goodness, that sounds cliché, but really, who doesn't? Many days I envy people like my lovely roommate, who I see as a more open and vulnerable person. People (including me) respond to her; she has connections/relationships with so many people and they're not just surface level relationships. She embodies the type that 'realize the vulnerability and tenderness are important, and they surrender and walk into it' that Brown discusses in her talk. Maybe it's because she's a poet. I could count my friends in high school on half of one hand, partially because I never felt like I could be even somewhat vulnerable with the people around me. But that could just be high school culture. I changed a bit in college, consciously trying to invest in others by being open with them, I can see where that has changed me and I am more aware of how I interact with people, the 'level' of vulnerable I am with them. I couldn't tell you why I'm not very open with others - I have grown up surrounded by a loving and supportive family and I know that I am loved, accepted and redeemed by Christ just as I am. I guess it just what it is; I can only keep working on how to be vulnerable with others. Again, college has been helpful, especially the honors program,  healthily introducing gray in my life, into what I thought were set-in-stone beliefs. I'm learning to live in those gray spaces, becoming more comfortable with non-definite answers, but I know that when I can, I tend to create more defined borders. I like rules, I like guidelines, I am uncomfortable with just 'going with the flow' or taking initiative with people. Though, you probably wouldn't believe me if you saw the order-less state of my room, clothes tossed everywhere :) My heart knows vulnerability is important - vital - to community with people, the church, Christ; but my mind frequently stops my words and actions from moving to that place.


so tonight, I pray for the ability to be vulnerable with myself, with others, with Christ. 

Right Stuff, Wrong Sex

Recently, I finished reading Right Stuff, Wrong Sex by Margaret Weitekamp. With the subtitle of ‘America’s First Women in Space Program,’ I initially thought that the text would center around the women who were tested as potential astronauts. However, this book proved to discuss the background and development of Dr. William Randolph "Randy" Lovelace’s Women in Space testing program, the political backlash against the program, and the general cultural beliefs that stopped women from being a part of the Mercury and Apollo programs. *Lovelace’s facility in Albuquerque became NASA’s medical center, mainly because he was a leader in aviation medicine and working on developing a space medicine research program.

Remember that the early space program began before the women’s lib movement, so any consideration of a female for an astronaut could be assumed to be tricky. What was surprising to learn was how under-the-table Lovelace’s program had to operate because of the hostility he faced in the political sphere. I was shocked to find out that President Johnson (Johnson Space Center in Houston, TX is named after him) was very much against female astronauts. A scribbled note from him in response to an inquiry about female candidates from NASA’s Administrator is one of the only bits of a paper trail recording the hostility of those in Washington against the women. Instead of his name, he signed 'Let's end this now!' in the space at the end of his note.  

Overall, 25 female pilots were tested by Lovelace and 13 passed the week-long physical examination. Only three women were able to go on to further testing, the not-so-official program was ‘officially’ cancelled only 5 days before the rest of the women were scheduled to fly to Pensacola, FL for psychological testing. This was actually a most interesting test of how potential astronauts handled total isolation: they floated in a pool, in a darkened room for as long as the possibly could. Both the air and the water temperature were matched exactly to the women’s body temperature, so apparently they didn’t even feel the water when they splashed it!

I found myself frequently frustrated with the lack of support for the women. The cultural standards and expectations for women could be used against them – one women was in a congressional hearing testifying for female astronaut candidates, was photographed with her heels off under the table and that breech in expected etiquette was used to discredit her whole testimony. The women found themselves with unsupportive employers, as many lost their jobs when they left to be tested. Even the man running the physical testing, Lovelace, did not envision these women as astronauts in the same sense as male candidates. He expected that once space had been initially ‘colonized,’ women would be needed as lab technicians, secretaries, and space ‘homemakers.’ Ugh. Even the most forward-thinking men of the time couldn’t get past the traditional gender roles that permeated the American culture.

The tested women were all incredible pilots, most with numerous flying records to their name and countless hours of flying time. However, one of NASA’s requirements kept women out of the pilot’s seat on any space-based aircraft for years to come: they had to have hours flying a jet aircraft. At that point in time, only the military flew jets and the military did not allow women to fly anything after the short-lived WASP program. So, regardless of how much they fought to become candidates, the women could always be pushed out because there was absolutely no way they could get the time they needed in a jet. Some women even considered trying to privately fund the purchase and flying of a jet, but that didn’t go anywhere in the end.

I was just slightly overwhelmed with the walls and roadblocks that these women faced in their campaign to fly to space. It made me more than thankful to live in 2011, when even though I still feel the cultural constraints of being a women in science, I have supporters. NASA so destroyed the hopes of accomplished women for becoming astronauts that they had to hire Nichelle Nichols, Uhura from Star Trek, to recruit females and other minorities to the shuttle astronaut core. Even then, as Weitekamp points out in the epilogue, there existed a two-track system for the astronaut core: one for PhDs and MDs, called ‘mission specialists,’ and one for pilots. There were a number of women who flew on the shuttles before a female was actually selected to command and pilot a shuttle mission.

FLATs (First Lady Astronaut Trainees) at one of Eileen Collins' launches on the space shuttle. Collins was the first woman to pilot the shuttle. 

Really, this was a most interesting book and fascinating read. I’m returning it to the library soon, so you should pick it up and read it. While I was initially interested in because it was about early female astronaut candidates, it really is a book anyone interested in gender equality or even history of aviation medicine should read. It spun out of the author’s thesis and is a well written book. Not too long either, I finished it in just 3 days by the pool :)

*sigh*

I made it through the first quarter of grad school. I'm still in good standing GPA-wise - the only reason I care about my GPA is for fellowships and getting into the dual-degree Nanotech PhD program the UW offers. Otherwise, all I care about is learning. And learn I did, this past quarter. Nothing like trying to also learn everything possible about basic EE things/photovoltaics on top of learning all sorts of new topics because I switched from Chemistry to Materials. Interestingly, I found that my chemistry background was more helpful than I anticipated (I guess that's why it's called 'the central science'! :) ), serving as an intro to topics that we delved into more deeply/mathematically into throughout my courses.

I will say, however, that even though the quarter was full of stress, I love Materials Science and Engineering and definitely believe it is the right field for me. What I still don't know is what I want to do after graduation - work in industry, for a government lab, or in academia, but I'm willing to sit on that decision for a while, discerning the Lord's will for my career.

everyone says this quarter is the worst in our department (mainly thanks to the class my advisor teaches....) - so here's hoping that next quarter goes swimmingly!  

 {currently, I'm de-stressing in southern CA with my family, where there is plenty of sun and no alarm clocks}

Mainly, I want to thank the fantastic girls in my house for supporting me day-to-day as I figure out this grad school thing. I know that I'm frequently absent from the house community and you girls saw a bunch of low moments in the quarter, but I so so so appreciate you all and I wanted to let you know!

 {also. thank you for the frosting and cookies. you know how to fuel my sleepless and stressful nights.}

 

I should also thank my fellow SPU alums, Natalie Closner and Marissa Maharaj for releasing music this year - your albums were on perpetual repeat when I was scrambling to finish all my reports!

{marissa maharaj}

{natalie closner}

{you all should take a listen, if you haven't already!}

Alvin Ailey {NYC Day/part 3}

Finally, at the very end of Wednesday evening I was able to see on of the most incredible dance performances I have ever seen - a rep of three pieces by the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre. For some reason, Ailey II came to Ellensburg a number of years ago and I remember being very impressed with their dance, even through it was so different from my own preferred style of classical ballet. I knew I did not want to see Nutcracker – performing in 5 times made it surprisingly uninspiring to watch (besides, I don’t think they do student rush tickets), and none of the broadways shows that offered student rush tickets really stood out to me. I’m not quite sure what brought it to mind, but I had a faint recollection that Alvin Ailey was in NYC. The best bonus – student rush tickets were only $10 during the holiday season. Ten dollars for one of the most engaging evenings of dance?!!!! This quickly became the most important must-do for my free day.

And what a performance! The theatre (the New York City Center) was built in such a way that our seats gave a steep sightline, but they were close enough that we could make out facial expressions and other nuances without the aid of binoculars. Hannah asked the ticket guy for centered seats, which is always a plus, and I actually do prefer balcony seats, patterns and specific spatial movements are always more impactful when viewed from up high.

{Hannah thinks the theatre is a converted Jewish (?) theatre, mainly because of the motifs present on the walls/perccenum arch – star of David, protective hands, etc. It was beautiful!}

The set of three pieces was diverse and engaging, ranging from telling the story of a Haitian painter to a piece set entirely to gospel spirituals. It so happens that last night’s run was probably the best set for the week (on a Wednesday – weird) because it included the full cast of 50 dancers performing Revelations.

The first piece, about the Haitian painter, Hector Hyppolite, was entitled The Prodgial Prince. This piece had very distinctive costumes, with both Haitian and African influences. There was a strong storyline that was generally followable, though there were some characters I did not understand - like a masked man in a costume covered in long swishy rustling grass-like stuff, reminiscent of Nick Cave’s Sound Suits, just not as tall. They mixed in some projections of what I assume is the actual artist’s work at the end and the lighting in general really set off the piece and aided in telling the story. Sometimes I forget about how important the non-dance parts of the performance are to creating an engaging environment.

The second piece, called Forgotten Time, showcased softer movements and lots of remarkable partnering. Being a modern dance company, all of the dancers are built distinctly different than the classical dancers I usually see (basically modern = way more muscular, both men and women) and the ease of how they partnered was inspiring to watch. It never looked like anyone exerted any effort to life another person, guy or girl. The men made it look completely easy to just lift a female up sideways, swing her upside down, and then pop her up around his shoulders. Again and again and again. The moments of stillness also stood out to me, which I only appreciate now because I have watched my own performances and wish that I could re-perform them, incorporating brief moments of stillness. It really just anchors a piece and allows the audience to keep up with dance, otherwise I find myself sometimes overwhelmed with movement. I also really liked the fact that this set of pieces began and ended in silence. Just listening to footfalls on the marley, the swishing of arms, thuds from the jumps, and the coordinated exhaling was, in a way, very peaceful. The set also ended and began with the same patterns and movements, giving this interesting cyclical feeling, almost like a day had passed and we watched them dance through the day, starting with sunrise and finishing with the sunset. I don’t honestly know what the inspiration was for the piece or the actual story they told through the movements (it was not detailed in the program) but I thoroughly enjoyed the pieces. 

Forgotten Time from AlvinAileyAmericanDanceTheater on Vimeo.

And Revelations. Wow. I got goosebumps during every single piece. That doesn’t usually happen (it happened when I saw PNB perform Wheeldon’s After the Rain pas de duex earlier this year, but it rarely happens). I was engaged, encouraged, invigorated, and just plain excited through these pieces. They made me want to find a dance studio the next day and get back in class. The dancer’s energy was incredible and felt all the way up in the balcony – I just don’t know how else to explain this breathtaking experience. The emotional spiritual music combined with the powerful artistry of the company dancers created a phenomenal and thoroughly engaging performance. Fortunately, Alvin Ailey has allowed much of their work to be taped and (maybe unfortunately for them) many of the pieces have made their way on to the internet. While the experience is not nearly as remarkable as seeing the pieces performed in person, you should take time to watch these clips: (if you only want to watch one, watch the last clip)

 gah. I still get goosebumps and all emotional when I watch those clips…

You should also see the company perform if you EVER get a chance. I looked, they are not coming to Seattle this coming year, but next time they do – want to join?

A Day in NYC {part two}

MoMA was next on my NYC to-do. I’m pretty sure most of my family wouldn’t enjoy this museum (maybe my dad), but I really liked most of it! I really didn’t have a plan and with limited time, I didn’t get to see everything (somehow I managed to miss seeing Van Gogh’s Starry Nights L) but I did get to see the font exhibit that I had read about!! (I’m somehow on MoMA’s email list….) It was a part of their installation called Standard Deviations: Types and Families in Contemporary Design which encompassed more than just the fonts, but the basic idea was iterations of similar things. For example, they had a bunch of old Macs, all derived from the original one and a Smart car, which apparently you can replace the outside color by just ordering new plastic pieces. I really don’t think I’d fit well in smart car. The wide range of fonts they chose to showcase was also interesting, as was learning more about the history of each font. Yes, I’m a nerd - I also enjoyed watching the Helvetica documentary…you should watch it as well!

 

{fonts!}

I also stumbled upon their de Kooning retrospective, which had way to many galleries and I accidently started in the middle when it was arranged chronologically. I was not able to take pictures, but here is an example of his work:

 

{I actually really loved this piece, which surprised even myself}

Much of it was really really abstract, though one informational wall did say that he felt it necessary to put in at least one faintly recognizable shape (a house outline and a solitary finger in one piece) to kind of ‘anchor’ the viewer. I found that I just enjoyed the colors that he used and didn’t try to over analyze any painting. Many of the works were very large and I think they would be wonderful in a house that has large blank walls, bringing color and interest into a space without strictly defining it.

After spending only ~2.5 hours in there, I grabbed another subway to Cooper Union to see the installation by Celeste Pfau, Hannah’s friend. Called The Moss Phase, it was kind of a confusing exhibit for me, mainly because I didn’t even know the title at the time, let alone any background, but I really liked one particular installation:

It evoked this image of a family tree in a very dynamic fashion and I was fascinated by the faces hanging, softly illuminated from the dropped lightbulb.

I was also reminded of my roommates, Kali, Jenni, and Steph, when I saw this tent:

Not only would they go in, I felt that they would create a very similar space.

I was most impressed with the repeated leaf prints woven throughout the exhibit, the detail and fine features found in even the smallest prints was fantastic! I wanted all the little cards on the wall….

Next came the adventure of finding B & H Dairy, this Ukrainian place Hannah said I had to try. Now, if you know me and my lack of initiative in trying new foods, you might be surprised that I actually found this place and ate exactly what Hannah told me to get. There are a large number of Ukrainian places along the same street and I almost when to the wrong one, but it looked too nice to be the place Hannah described. B&H place was very much a hole-in-wall and the man who probably owns it clearly recognized me as not knowing what I was supposed to do/order. He kindly gave me a menu, but I had neglected to write down what exactly Hannah told me to get, but apparently the ‘something like dumplings?’ description was sufficient. I also got the hot borsht – a beet based soup, which unexpectedly came with Challah bread. There was so. much. food. And I wasn’t even that hungry, but I knew I had to try it before I left town.

{pierogies, borscht, and challah bread}

The bright red borscht was surprisingly good, I would totally eat it again. Not sure I could every make it, but I liked it. The challah bread was delicious, of course, but even better when dipped in the soup. The dumpling things, called pierogies apparently, were interesting. I got them fried (the guy asked me, ‘do you want them steamed or fried? Healthy or….good?’ I laughed and said definitely fried. I love fried foods….) they were these little fried cakes stuffed with a variety of things. I couldn’t bring myself to try to saurerkraut-mushroom one, mainly because I don’t like either of those food items. I did try the potato, cheese, and spinach perogies, of which I like the spinach ones the best, probably because they also had onions in them J. The potato was also good, but was kind of a lot of drier items with the outside part being of a similar texture. The cheese was my least favorite – I really didn’t like whatever cheese they put in it, but Hannah likes those, so she got them when we met up for the Ailey show J. Overall, it was a really good meal and I’m am really tempted to try to find a place in seattle similar to it (and the indian roll place!) but am pretty sure I’ll be unsuccessful. 

After quickly eating as much as I could (I finished both the borsht and the bread), I hopped another subway north and went to the Ailey show! Ailey show is going to be the whole next post :)

A day in NYC {part 1}

Apparently, my take-home final didn’t take as along as I expected – I budgeted two days for it and I got it basically done in one (of course, during the remainder of today I’ll be going back over it, but there are a limited number of ways you can answer questions about sol-gel reactions….) Wednesday, then, I was able to run around NYC a bit and see some things that I hadn’t seen in past trips. Most likely, if you’re reading this now, you saw my various pictures from the day, but here is everything all together in one place (well, three posts) + more pictures!

After a late-ish start, I hopped on a subway to Times Square - I must mention here how thankful I am for public transportation. I know many people don’t like it, but the fact that I could inexpensively, quickly and pretty efficiently get around a city I am visiting is just fantastic. I also really enjoy how frequently trains come. I have spent enough time waiting in the cold for one of the three buses from school to my house in Seattle that I appreciate the consistent flow of trains through the subway.

Though my first goal was to find the NY public library, I did need breakfast and I walked the wrong way at first (that happens quite frequently, actually, even with a smartphone…) so I ended up at Starbucks. Yay for consistency across the country.

(the worst moment of my morning - realizing I left my nice camera at home. I only had my iPhone for pictures all day long :( )

{some random building near bryant park - I liked how it curved upwards}

{New York Public Library! I always get so lost, yet somehow manage to find the reading room}

I found the library, got lost trying to find the reading room, but then found it eventually. I never actually go in the front door, so it usually wind up stairs and down different hallways until I end up at the beautiful reading room. Pretty sure that even if I had a map, I couldn’t find it directly. I also usually find the front door when I leave, so that’s even more confusing. I also don’t know if there are any other spaces besides the reading rooms for the public to access, because that’s all I’ve ever found. I do always enjoy the exhibits the library constructs in their hallways to the bathroom and the exit - last time was this awesome exhibit called ‘Radioactive’ about Marie Currie, based off of the book Radioactive: Marie & Pierre Curie: A Tale of Love and Fallout. This time they were showcasing ‘New Contemporary Art,’ which involved a surprisingly large amount of ‘Untitled’ pieces, but they were very interesting to look at.

{I’m not entirely sure I was supposed to take pictures, but these were a few of my favorites}

While at the library, I made my plan for the day: Check out Ailey tickets at the NYCC (next post will describe that awesome experience); go to Uniqlo (a shop Guy highly recommended); complain to Urban Outfitters about my inability the other night to order things online due to their website getting stuck in a cycle during checkout/see if they could order what I wanted and give me free shipping; visit the Central Synagogue; go to the Museum of Modern Art; travel to lower east side to see Hannah’s friend’s gallery exhibit at Cooper Union; eat at this Ukrainian place; possibly get falafels next door; and then go to the Ailey show. For some strange reason, I initially didn’t think this would take up the whole day. Ha. I ran around and around and around and got to almost everything on my list!

{I should probably mention that I saw giant ‘sale’ signs in the H&M outside the library and stopped in….I found some awesome heeled boots that I then proceed to wear them for much of the day. Probably not the best idea as my feet hurt at the end of the day, but I like them! And I could see even better over all the crowds – they have a small ½” platform with a ~4” heel…..}

After checking with the NYCC and Urban, I went to find the Central Synagogue. Now, I’m not Jewish, but it is a beautiful house of worship and I can appreciate that (+ the Jewish heritage of my Christianity). The Central Synagogue has a once-a-week tour at 12:45 on Wednesdays. Kind of random, I know.

{from the front; from the back}

The ‘tour’ really just took place in the main sanctuary and focused mostly on trivia about the building, so here are some fun facts I picked up:

-       style of the building is called ‘moorish revival’. It’s very colorful and pretty.

-       There are 69 shades of color on the walls. Everything is hand painted using stencils, no wallpaper here! (also, my MSE/symmetry-seeking mind was going crazy with all the patterns in the building. I love patterns.)

-       The pillars are made of cast iron – weird, I know, but they could build up the patterns on the pillars by welding on smaller pieces and then paint over them.

-       The tiles are made of color clay, so that when they get worn down, the color won’t fade/wear off. After there was a terrible fire that destroyed much of the church (including the organ), they were actually able to get the manufacturer to reproduce the tiles for them, 130 years after they were originally created. They are so well placed that you can’t pick out the old from the new tiles.

After the tour, it was lunch-ish time. I stopped at street vendor that had a line both when I passed it on the way to the synagogue and when I came back, so I figured it had to be good food. And it was! Or maybe I just really like lamb gyros…. 

I had also seen this ‘public space’ when I was rapidly trying to find the synagogue, and so I wandered back there and found an atrium-like space with tables and chairs, open to the public. It was great! I also noticed many people stared at me (all day, really) which was kind of unsettling, but I figure it’s just a new Yorker thing to do. Or maybe I really looked out of place, I don’t know.

 

{Public Space}

 More NYC soon!

"break" goals

First quarter of grad school done! I turned in my last assignments today and found out that I passed my most stressful class! Since I'm not totally finished with fellowship apps at the start my Christmas break, I'm not sure how much of a 'break' the next three weeks will be. I want to get them all done early, like next week, but I am always better with hard deadlines than softer self-imposed deadlines.....

regardless, I do have a few non-school-related goals for the break, we'll see if any of them actually get done.

• get at least halfway through my newest sweater project. The stress halfway through last quarter got to me and I ran to JoAnn's, buying some inexpensive wool to make this fun sweater: 

I love cabling and knitting is more portable than sewing, so I can work on this sweater in the car, watching TV, at Bible study, or just while chatting with my family. Or, even, while attempting to sit by the pool in Palm Springs, as that is where my family has decided to travel for a few days this break. I'm not a huge fan of going warm places during the Christmas season (not sure I could ever live in the southern hemisphere...) but I am a fan the sun! Strange side note - knitting is about the only thing I can do while riding in a car without getting motion sick. I can't read, watch movies, or even type emails :(

other things to do:

• start reading Right Stuff, Wrong Sex. (dealing with women in science/first female astronaut cannidates)
• start reading The Design of Everyday Things
• start reading Spacesuit: Fashioning Apollo (it just came in the mail! so exciting!)
• watch Objectified
• watch When we Left Earth
• starting learning to code again. probably in python, but I'm open to suggestions!

MatLab may be more useful, but I can't get a free copy and am not currently willing to fork over $100 for it... I'm not going to work in DOS again (like I did in 8th grade), but let me tell you - if you need something password protected, want to play a game of hangman, or see 8-bit style cat drawings, let me know :) (if this kid can program in three languages by the age of 12 and speak so well in front of lots of people, I figure I can (re)learn to program)

I also want to knit some new mittens for myself that my friend Hannah designed, but I've got to either find appropriate weight yarn or convince my dear sister that she should spin me some for Christmas. But I also want her to spin me some conductive fiber yarn (I know - so cool!) so I'm debating what I should persuade her to spin first :) conductive yarn = iPhone compatible gloves!

• finish a long winter coat I started 4 years ago. Yes, it still fits. I was just too lazy to get the snaps for the closure from the store....
• paint a large piece (or two!) of art for the MSE grad student 'lounge'. 

best part about this art - it's subtly MSE-geeky! The pattern is from the pattern used to define quasi-crystals in x-ray crystallography. The man who first discovered and published his discovery of quasi-crystals just won the 2011 Nobel Prize in Chemistry! Click the link to read his story, it was a long uphill battle convincing people that he was correct. (my advisor is/was a crystallographer, so he was very excited...)

Right now, the area inspires no creativity and is just one blah rose beige color. (the furniture is also atrocious, but I'm not going to deal with that yet. well, I may take the couch covers home to wash them, not sure when they were last washed...) I also need to bring some color/life into my personal half cubicle, but I'm kind of stuck with what to do with my space. Suggestions?

In reality, I'm pretty sure the next week is going to be filled with lingering paperwork I need to finish for research, so I'm not too hopeful about getting too many things done...but at least I'll be in a place with sun!

suits required.

“Here’s the thing about being a girlie girl. I think there was a generation before us that felt like they needed to act like men to be taken seriously, like they had to use their sexuality to take control of people. I don’t judge people for that. But I don’t want to take all my clothes off and use myself as an object. It’s part of the machine and I don’t think that necessarily pushes us forward as women. I think you can still be girlie and maintain your power. The fact that you associate being girlie with being non-threatening, that is … I mean, I can’t think of more blatant example of playing into exactly the thing that we’re trying to fight against. I can’t be girlie? Why do I need to be defined aesthetically by someone else’s perceptions of what makes me seem like someone who should be taken seriously? I’m going to wear whatever I want to wear, because I’m expressing myself, and I deserve that right. And I like the way that looks. You’re not demeaning yourself by acting girlie. I think the fact that people are associating being girlie with weakness, that needs to be examined. Not me dressing girlie. I don’t think that undermines my power at all.

“I’m not doing it to pander to people. I just always knew what I liked versus what I don’t like. I never liked things with too many zippers or spikes and stuff. That weirds me out. I like things that are pretty. And I think it’s great to be pretty. I like being feminine. I think it’s good to be feminine. We don’t need to look like men or dress like men or talk like men to be powerful. We can be powerful in our own way, our own feminine way.”  - Zooey Deschanel (source)

------

I like this; I like it a bunch. I don't however, necessarily agree with the implication that our generation of women doesn't still feel pressured to dress and act like men to be taken seriously. After watching the film Miss Representation, the one thing I left with was how all the non-artists featured were wearing menswear-esque suits. 

Nancy Pelosi, Condoleezza Rice, Katie Couric and the other women who names I can't remember, but who worked in the law or politics fields, were all wearing suits. Women in the art and film industries were not in suits. They were still dressed well, but they were not in a tailored suit with square lapels and shoulder pads. Artists have always been able to get away with wearing non 'standard' clothing. Zooey Deschanel is an artist. 

In which of the following outfits would you take me more seriously as a scientist? (ignoring the setting of the pictures) 

I think, in my case, dressing girly probably undermines how seriously people consider my science and how much respect I command in my male-dominated field, regardless of how much we say we don't judge people based on their appearance and seek gender equality. Which is just too bad, because I love to wear dresses and skirts.

{city girl}

Apparently I'm more of a city girl than I thought.

Wandering through the deserted Cambridge, MA on the MIT campus Saturday morning was weird. (apparently MIT students don't get moving on a Saturday until ~11 am....) 

It was a city, but there was nobody outside. And the streets were so clean! There were joggers - lots and lots and lots of runners - but no one just out for a stroll with their family, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air. Maybe they're all just too used to the sun and fair weather? It really threw me off all day! I guess I expect Ellensburg to be quiet because it's a small college town, and I envisioned Boston as place thriving with people. Maybe it was the area we saw, maybe it was the time of day, I'm not sure. 

{we did find plenty of east-coast hipsters (not a flannel in sight!) in Flour, a delicious lunch spot!}

{not that hannah and adwoa are hipsters, but this picture was taken in Flour :) }

all I do know is that I felt incredibly more at ease with the lights, cars, and people wandering around when we got back to New York that I did the whole day in Boston. 

{view from the 13th floor in Columbia's engineering building - look at all that city!}

4 fantastic years

Kali, I can't believe that only four years ago, I barely knew you. 

I knew that you had sweet hair, lived on my floor, were way more outgoing than me, were also a UScholar, and wanted to have 6 kids by the time you were ~30. 

Oh, and you loved English.

here's first halfway decent picture of ourselves freshman year. I look so awkward....

I found out you liked to dress up as much as I did

we made lots of Traditions:

and look! still friends four years later:

(with those red stoles - yay!)

Even in the midst of my hectic week, I wanted to take a moment and say thank you for being such an amazing friend. love you so so much!

(even when you make me wear ridiculous glasses.....)

Here's to many more years!

-------

also, this was our facebook friend picture :)

diodes

first, thank you to all my EE inclined friends who have been teaching me the basics of everything I probably should have learned at some point before starting a solar cell project....I'm slowly learning and absorbing all this new material.


this thursday, if someone questions my understanding of diodes when I try to explain how solar cells (p-n junctions) work, I'm just going to quote my favorite EE:

so it's like a door really

if you push it the wrong way, it won't open

and if you push it the right way, but not hard enough, it won't open

otherwise it opens and the electrons can walk right through

if you put a ton of current going the wrong way, it'll burn up

basically it's like throwing flaming bowling balls at a door going the wrong way

eventually they get through

and burn up the door in the process

then it just works as a wire

but smells bad

kind of charred

best moment during my night of panicked studying. 

is this real life?

I just looked at my calendar - I'm flying on 7 planes between now and Christmas day. 

I'm going to be in Seattle for a grand total of 4 more days before December 25th. 

Tonight, I'm thankful that I'm getting paid to go to graduate school and that my profs don't believe in in-class finals :)

Tomorrow, I head to Albuquerque, Monday I'm giving my 'how to apply for graduate school' presentation to the students at NMSU and speaking on a panel about my NASA internship experiences. Apparently it is going to be cold in Albuquerque....hopefully no snow though!

Tues-Thursday are going to be crazy days. don't expect to hear from me. don't worry, I didn't fall off the face of the earth, I'm just going to be hiding in different spaces cramming everything in for my advisor (final + paper + presentation). 

But then Friday I'm going to NYC! and Boston! To visit these fantastic people:

Yay!

And since my sol-gel class is finishing with a take-home final, a paper, and 'presentation' (but we just send our prof our slides, we don't actually present.....) I'm going to stay in NYC until Thursday!

Everything gets turned in Friday morning and then I'm DONE for the quarter! Hopefully I'm alive enough to go ice skating with my roommates and friends that evening......

And finally, Saturday I'm getting on another plane to Palm Springs with my family + family friends for a whole week of SUN. I am so excited to see the sun. So. Excited. I think I've forgotten what it looks like.....

(solar flares are cool)